Just a small selection of my poems, I will add more at some point.
WARNING! MAY TRIGGER!
Self-harm && Suicidal content.
I'm Perfecting The Art ♥
I’m perfecting the art,
The art of the game,
The art of losing,
Of going insane,
The art of breaking,
Of cracking in two,
Of the things in my thoughts,
And following them through,
Feeling the feelings,
Feeling the pain,
Looking around,
But there’s nothing to gain,
Realising the outcome,
Before it begins.
Realising the outcome,
That I’m not going to win,
Tearing and slashing,
At my bloodied wrist,
Anything is better,
Then feeling like this,
Anything is better,
Then this need to die,
The lack of control,
Being unable to cry,
I’m perfecting the art,
The art of the game,
The art of losing,
Of going insane,
I’m feeling the anger,
Feeling the pain,
Watching my blood,
Flow down the drain,
Watching my blood,
Swirl in this river,
Gush from my arm,
Sent and delivered.
I tried to stay away! ♥
The blood in my vein,
Feel it almost shiver,
As I start my game.
I tried to stay away,
I tried to not think of harm,
Even though as I say it,
Its sliding down my arm.
I try to make it deep this time,
But I cannot feel the pain,
I sit at the bathroom sink,
And watch my arm drain.
The blood swirls round the sink,
A twirling pirouette,
Washed away from my sight,
Lies have now been set.
But I cannot stop at one this time,
As I cannot live like this,
This time I need to let it glide,
And hope I no longer miss.
The blood it spurts this time,
Against the bathroom wall,
With the room spinning,
I sit and tremble.
I tried to stay away,
I tried not to think of harm,
But I just want to die,
I cannot stay calm.
So laying on the floor,
Life on its last thread,
I’d whisper that I’m sorry,
If I wasn’t already dead.
For A Second I Fooled Myself ♥
For a second I fooled myself.
When I saw the happy grin,
I didn’t look deep enough,
To see the hate within,
I didn’t see the haunted eyes,
I didn’t see her tears,
I didn’t see underneath it all,
She has so many fears,
I don’t know how she kept it all,
Locked up deep inside,
I lost count of how many times,
She’d run away and hide,
She kept it all within herself,
Hidden so deep inside,
That no-one ever saw this pain,
Or ever guessed she lied,
I couldn’t see the pain she had,
She wouldn’t let me in,
For a second I was almost fooled,
Taken in by her grin,
My reflection in the mirror,
Is the opposite of how I feel,
Sometimes I am almost fooled,
And persuade myself it’s real.
When I saw the happy grin,
I didn’t look deep enough,
To see the hate within,
I didn’t see the haunted eyes,
I didn’t see her tears,
I didn’t see underneath it all,
She has so many fears,
I don’t know how she kept it all,
Locked up deep inside,
I lost count of how many times,
She’d run away and hide,
She kept it all within herself,
Hidden so deep inside,
That no-one ever saw this pain,
Or ever guessed she lied,
I couldn’t see the pain she had,
She wouldn’t let me in,
For a second I was almost fooled,
Taken in by her grin,
My reflection in the mirror,
Is the opposite of how I feel,
Sometimes I am almost fooled,
And persuade myself it’s real.
My Heart Itself Is Pounding ♥
My heart itself is pounding,
Though I’m not sure if I’m awake,
Through the darkness creeping,
Slither like a snake,
My head is spinning,
Around the room I fly,
I cannot seem to escape you,
So you did not tell a lie,
You tell me I cant leave you,
You tell me that you’d cry,
You tell me that you’d hurt me,
And if I care, I’ll die,
My heart itself is pounding,
Whizzing around the room,
Taking in my silence,
The devil will leave us soon,
I’m lying down here waiting,
Thankful I cant see your face,
I will make sure I cant remember,
The shame and the disgrace,
I’ll make sure I don’t remember,
The pain of letting go,
The pain of feeling empty,
The times it went so slow,
My heart itself is pounding,
Right inside of me,
My heart itself is pounding,
Its yearning to be free.
Though I’m not sure if I’m awake,
Through the darkness creeping,
Slither like a snake,
My head is spinning,
Around the room I fly,
I cannot seem to escape you,
So you did not tell a lie,
You tell me I cant leave you,
You tell me that you’d cry,
You tell me that you’d hurt me,
And if I care, I’ll die,
My heart itself is pounding,
Whizzing around the room,
Taking in my silence,
The devil will leave us soon,
I’m lying down here waiting,
Thankful I cant see your face,
I will make sure I cant remember,
The shame and the disgrace,
I’ll make sure I don’t remember,
The pain of letting go,
The pain of feeling empty,
The times it went so slow,
My heart itself is pounding,
Right inside of me,
My heart itself is pounding,
Its yearning to be free.
Everything I Seem To Be ♥
Is everything you do not see,
You do not see,
My broken heart,
The pain of being,
Torn apart,
The tortured look,
The things they say,
Hunt me down,
To make me pay,
My want and need,
To have a friend,
Someone to stay,
Until the end,
Someone to love me,
To hold and to care,
To give me everything,
That should have been there,
When he got mad,
He just lost control,
Everyone forgets,
He once made me whole,
He just lost control sometimes,
He just want some care,
He just want to know,
That I’ll always be there.
