Self-Harm Relief ♥

I feel like a mess today.

I woke up earlier then I have been recently

and I thought it was a good thing, 

but the thoughts are still there, the feelings.. 

all the badness, the pressure, 

I don't know how to make it stop.. make it go away..

Please.. go away..

Go the fuck away..

FUCK OFF!!

Some people just don't know what it's like to want to cut, 

to want to take that perfect blade and slice down, into your skin, 

to watch the blood well up and form, then trail down your arm or wrist.. [or where ever]

To feel the peace, the relief.. 

Letting out all the badness, the numbness, the pain, the fear,

Your screaming..  yet it's silent to those around..

Letting out everything that ever hurt you..

Knowing no-one could ever hurt you like you hurt yourself..

But then.. there's the shame..

The guilt..

The fear.. 

Fear of being caught, found out, noticed..

Your guilty little shame becomes hidden.

Hidden away so no-one can see,

Hidden with clothing, sweatbands, arm-warmers..

so no-one can see,

so no-one can judge.

I wont let you judge me, I already hate myself more then you'll ever know!